After graduating from university, I found a job as a sales representative. Every day, I drove the company car, which was filled with the stale smell of cigarette smoke, and the ashtray was perpetually dirty. I had already visited all the potential clients in my area, and with no pressing tasks, I often aimlessly drove around. One afternoon, while cruising through the quiet high-end residential area, a familiar tune came on the radio—the song was “A Shadow of the Youth.”

It was a song I had listened to countless times during my university days. As the melody played, I navigated the narrow one-way streets, and suddenly, tears began streaming down my face. Overwhelmed by the music and my emotions, I lost track of where I was heading and eventually pulled the car over. Resting my forehead on the steering wheel, I stared blankly at the floor.

There, on my feet, were the leather shoes my father had bought me for my university entrance ceremony. They were now scuffed and battered.

—

大学卒業後に就職した会社で、営業を担当した。毎日私が乗っていた営業車は、たばこの臭いが充満し、灰皿は汚れたままだった。営業先は周り尽くしていた。時間があまり、むやみに車を走らせていた。世田谷区の住宅街を運転していると、ラジオから福山雅治がカバーしたチューリップの『青春の影』が流れてきた。それは、大学時代に何度も聴いた曲だった。ラジオを聴きながら、狭い一方通行の道を運転していると、ボロボロと涙が溢れた出た。流れる曲と涙に気を取られ、どこに向かって車を走らせていたのかわからなくなり、車を止めた。ハンドルに顔を伏せ、じっと足元を見つめた。

大学の入学式のために父が買ってくれた革靴が、酷く傷付いていた。